lets examine 2 very public and very successful approaches: 

1—Angelina Jolie & the shameless broadcast:

looks like she is in love right? you’ve seen the same look in all her movie roles; this is not out of character for her. She is the temptress. the con artist. the tomb raider… home wrecking is her M.O. and who is going to stop her? certainly not any mere man’s wife. She can adopt a thousand babies. She can birth 18. she will can never wash off the stigma of being a cold bitch. I think she knows this and cares not. She just wants to raise them in a loving home… with vials of billy bob’s blood tucked in shoeboxes in the addict… under dusty pictures of her incestuous brother… 

She brought his stock down.

2— Alicia Keys & the say nothing approach:

“Everything was in order. We didn’t start seeing each other until after they had been separated for months………..I was very aware of all the false things that were being said about me. And it definitely hurt. But I was sure that if I engaged, it would become a back-and-forth like some sort of sick entertainment, which goes against everything I believe in and only would have made things worse…………Of course, people will believe what they want to believe. But I know the truth will shine through.“

http://gameboyzmusic.com/news/2011/05/alicia-keys-speaks-on-her-side-of-the-swizz-beatz-scandal/

now who could look at the union of these two musical geniuses and say it isn’t meant to be? because she said nothing. because she waited her turn and because she came out with a song that said “if we do the unthinkable, would that make us look crazy?” she shared without oversharing and came out on top… i think. and the wife…. well they weren’t working out anyway.

1. Don’t brag about community dick. Everyone knows its good cause they have had it already. And its not cute for a group of bitches to walk into Thompson with the same disease.

2. Don’t do the same thing twice and expect different results. If you want a man don’t fall for your cut buddy then wonder why he wont ask you out. If you want a cut buddy don’t let the motherfucker cuddle with you and shit and be surprised when his sensitive ass wants a relationship. 

3. dont talk shit about your man. If you tell everyone he aint worth shit… crying and carrying on you look like a dumbass for staying with him. That’s some insecure, desperate, self hatred shit. If he is good to you at all… let people know. That’s nothing to be ashamed of. If anything it validates your sanity. 

4. Don’t be a nagger. If he doesn’t call you back… or text you back. DON’T KEEP TRYING. He doesn’t want to talk to your dumbass… another clue is one word responses… he is probably texting you while he is getting his dick sucked.

5. Ladies…. If you are going to be a gold digger be discreet about that shit. Begging ass bitches are not worth the quarters you throw at them to shut them up. 

6. If you are ugly, don’t fish for compliments. No one wants to lie to you and its kinda a guaranteed ‘no pussy’ if he sits there and tells you the truth. If you are pretty you shouldn’t have to hear it so don’t fish for compliments. That’s just weird. 

7. If you are not waiting on a class(that you are planning on attending) to start, get your dumbass out the Russell house. Them same motherfuckers will be there later. And nine times out of ten whatever you are talking about is being spread around the campus cause either you aren’t quiet enough or your life is just so filled with drama that people are listening just to see what shit you got your dumbass into now. 

(you are spreading your own business. And if you are stupid enough to do that then you deserve all the rumors that are soon to come)

8. If you haven’t learned anything else by now…. You should know that college is about a good balance… time management will help you have both a social life and decent grades. Its healthy to have a good drink but not overdo it (okay sometimes its okay to overdo it… no regrets baby!!) working out too little will eventually make you fat and lazy and working out too much… ninja turtle syndrome. Smoking is good and relaxing… potheadedness is wrong. sex is as necessesary as food and water. Its been proven… but moderation is key. Intimacy is even better…. 

9. The club in flats… just be prepared to be looked at like a dumbass. Unless your foot is broken or you have spinal issues, put some fucking shoes on…. What other reason is there for you to have heels?? Yall know yall don’t go to church. and you don’t have decent jobs…. Ugh… you know what go ahead and wear your flats… be comfortable. Don’t put in work. Don’t be mad when you go home lonely too. Or when no one values you as a woman (cause you don’t look like one) or when you cant get your aintworthshit man to take you out in public… ITS CAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT. Hot, green, fresh, baby monkey SHIT and the bitch beside you at the bar looked like she had higher standards. 

This does not apply to those of you that fuck with levels… you need flats. To run from all the hood ass motherfuckers you are probably trying to pick up when they start shooting up the club…

10. There is time and a place for indecent exposure… by the pool on a hot day wear a bathing suit. At the club in 50 degree weather in march… you should choose between the half tops and booty shorts… never both at once. Or a shirt that can pass as a dress… or a towel in mixed company. Or in front of other peoples men/boyfriends/ cut buddies/husbands.

11. We are in college… which means that we are all here to become educated in a particular field. Which means you should know something even if its not common sense…. And you have something to bring into a conversation at some point. Whatever male interaction you have… should include a conversation that should let them know that you deserve to be respected as a knowledgeable human being. We as women, should at all times, know what we have to offer a man. And once we know that we know what we deserve, what we wont put up with, and what he will be missing out on if he doesn’t get his shit together. The difference between knowledge and wisdom is discernment… and like a gold ring in a pigs snout is a beautiful woman without discretion… but you cant handle that right now. Get your weight up.

12. If you are a single male…. And trying to stay that way… that is fine… sew your crusty little oats. Just do your research you shouldn’t get caught up. Fuck with girls in different circles that will never find out about each other…. And things should run smoothly but if you are fucking with a bunch of halfway decent woman. it will bite you in the ass. Dick comes a dime a dozen. Someone always does it better. ALWAYS. 

And if you are a male in a relationship. Formal relationship with a title and all that jazz… or hell even in a talking relationship (in which both partners actually like each other) don’t step outside that relationship. Don’t even do anything that would kind of look like it might accidently have a possibility of sort of looking like you are doing something wrong. unless you are willing to sacrifice someone who actually knows you and cares for you. Don’t lose a down ass bitch for random pussy. Its just upsetting. 

13. And you still cant wear white until after easter… well you can but you will be a jackass and I will talk about you. Loudly and point. and please PLEASE never wear white shoes no matter what time of year it is… or where you are going… or what you are doing.